They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
