Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
