it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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