Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
