Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
