Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
