She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
