just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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