she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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