My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
