im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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