I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
where are you?
Hypothermia
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
