9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
