was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
