i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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