I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
