I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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