If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
