I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
COCAINE IS GR8
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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