i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she peed on how many people?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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