I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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