Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
