I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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