We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
