During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
