she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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