Small penises have feelings too.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
