Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
one two three fourrrrnication!
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
