shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
