I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
And then he peed in my hair
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