Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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