Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
is wine microwaveable?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
