Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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