he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
