She's JV to your varsity
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
