Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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