i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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