it wasn't lemon gatorade
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
