New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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