That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We need to get me chipped asap
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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