Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
This can only be settled by a dance off.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
