CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm always down for nudity.
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