with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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