I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
North Korea, Best Korea!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
