let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
