This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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