Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
