What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
