I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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