wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
