Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
