just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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