are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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