fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
smell my finger.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize