In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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