I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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