I think im going to throw up on grandma
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
