I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
They took my balls.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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