I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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