I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
