Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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