My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
