She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
