their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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