I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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