I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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