Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
