He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
