He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
