The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
