so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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