I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
