Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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