Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
