For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize