I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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