he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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