I skipped work to stalk him.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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