the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
