I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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