It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
